Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
