There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
