i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
