You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
