Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
