Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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