Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
