Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
