so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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