We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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