i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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