just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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