dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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