I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
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