You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
