do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
