tell your sister to shave her snatch
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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