i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
We have so much sex to catch up on
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize
