I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
