i jhust puked up my retainher.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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