Just mADE A PArabola og urine
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
