haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
