'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
