I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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