Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
