Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize