everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
