So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
