Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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