Your face is a jimmy john
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
