chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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