so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
