some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
