stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
