Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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