in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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