Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
