if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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