I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
