how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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