i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
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