i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
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