We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
