So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
