So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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