Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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