Hey man sorry I got all grabby
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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