I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
