Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
