dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
