You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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