What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
These tits shall not be calmed
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
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