so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
