True but thats because hes a fetus.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
