i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Randomize
