just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Randomize
