I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
